


'Bleep' you i'm drunk

by personification_of_dawn_island



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drinking Games, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 12:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16017755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personification_of_dawn_island/pseuds/personification_of_dawn_island
Summary: Invited over for a game of drinking by his 1p, 2p America watches the chaos unfold. While we learn a little about the nations.





	'Bleep' you i'm drunk

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when you read a Truth or dare fanfiction, while listening to 'Irish people try weird american cocktails'. This is my first story on here, Yeah!!!

All in all, this was not the worse thing that had happened to us; Mat was acting like it though, Francois was curious, and Oliver would follow him to the ends of the earth. When pork chop called up asking them to come to some sort of dare party I said no

'But we're daring each other drink weird alcohol or do something embarrassing, come on you'll love it'

So that's how we ended up knocking at his door at 6:00 at night and joining the lot for a game of debauchery. The room was tacky and filled with a cursing group of British men, that caused Oli to glare "No swearing! artie and... I'm assuming your Artie's brother no bad words or put a dollar in the jar!"

"Oh lord who invited you! bloody twat!" Arthur scowled and, his brothers and sister blinked

"It's a cotton candy you, tha' your 2p Artie?" a ginger-headed girl giggled "Pleasure to meet ya' Northern Ireland- Slaine'mor Kirkland and you lot?" she dodges a hand from a pissed off redhead glaring, weary at us.

"Oliver Arthur Kirkland, love and I must say you are so much better than my little sister. Her and my brothers are just as gloomy as these lot" he pointed at us pouting "Don't be rude introduce yourselves" he orders "Allen F. Jones, this is my giant brother Mathieu J. Williams and his depressing zombie Francois Bonnefoi"

"You're funny! my giant brother's named..."

"That's enough lass; Scotland- Alistair Wallace Kirkland, Wales- William Evans Kirkland, Ireland- Seamus Bram O'Connell, Mann- Fiona Kirkland, Jersey-Agne Kirkland, and Guernsey-Warinn Kirkland. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance now if ya'd kindly piss off " the head yells and drags her away.

The three latter leave after some more shouting and arguing, apparently they never wanted to come in the first place.

...  
When the last arrivals finely appear, Alfred finely announces the games being"So dudes here are the rules, and none of you can back out. 1]. Either drink or strip and tell us an embarrassing truth about yourself 2]. you can't dare the person who dared you back 3]. the game ends when were to slushed to continue"

He smirks "Alright Ruski drink or truth?"

"Drink, da"  
"Chugg a B-156 with a Full Payload" he grins and the room save for the alcoholics and the bartender stare blankly. That's when someone asks 'a what?'

" B-52 with a 4th layer of Frangelico and a 5th layer of Bacardi 151 rum lit on fire in an old fashion glass. It's strong booze on fire and twice the size of a normal shot." Flavina winks and mixes the flaming monstrosity, which Ivan knocks back with only minor burns

A little too loudly, Ivan dears his victim " the Englands, drink or truth?"

"He can't do that, only one at a time!" Arthur scretched

"New rules, up to five people can be dared at once! and they can only have one victim afterward!" Artie just glares with a 'fuck you face' before turning to Oli "we will drink, Mr. Russia" he giggles "Arthur will have to do body shots from Francis, whenever he cusses and Oliver will have to down, an Irish car bomb anytime he yells at someone for cussing"

the silence is broken by laughter and cusses words in every language known to man "We fuckin Love you Russki!" and it's Oliver who blows first "Swear jar! oh, fiddlesticks!" Flavina mixes up the drink and Oli asks what's in it "Guinness stout, Baileys Irish Cream, and Jameson Irish Whiskey" he downs it gagging

"I hate alcohol, who are we daring Artie?"

"frog breath, truth or drink?" he smirks evilly

"Mon lapin cussed!" a call of 'did not bastard, quit stalling' can be heard and Francis took a drink "hangman's blood, for him please dear" both of them look crazy "Ok... Um, lovi the recipe is gin, whiskey, rum, port, and brandy. A small bottle of stout and the whole topped up with champagne in a pint glass, right?" she nodded

"That sounds horrible, no-one would ever drink something like that!" Francis chokes

"It was a made-up drink from a book, I've made it twice you are going to get very tipsy. Well bottoms up " she giggles passing him a waste bin, as he throws up

"Mon due, truth or drink Lovina?"

"booze bastard" Luciano or lucy smacks her with a 'ladies don't swear', she flips him off before dodging a knife"Death in the Afternoon or is it an Hemingway, no ice"

"There're the same things asshole" she grumbles. spain asks what it is and she tells him with a grimace " Absinthe and chilled Champagne yuck! french shit" the glass is gone quickly and she looks around smiling at the Germans and Prussians "Drink or truth german wholes?"

"DRINK!" screamed the red-eyed albino and purple-eyed german, then others say 'truth' with grumbles and sighs " Is that aloud Alfred?" someone asks. the dumbass only nods " Fine for the truths your honest opinions of Austria and for the drinks..." she whispers to twin, who laughs

"Ok what the fuck ya' up to?" they wink at me  
"Nothing hon" Flavi giggles, I ignore the growling coming from old skunk head

"Rodrick is a controlling uptight Arschloch, that can't accept change and is stuck in the past dressing as if it's the 1800's, and he makes my life difficult" Ludwig... I think his name is take off his jacket. Klaus scribbles on his board signing away, with the other hand

"He wrote that 'Reinhart is a manipulative stalker, who needs to quit dressing like an English teenage-steam punk fanatic and needs to make up with Erzsebet' wow bro, hoping for miracles" he shrugs taking off his cloak and grabbing the board with his gauntlet covered hand

"K, Lutz, and Gil here ya' go" she smiles, the liquid is off-white and I know what it is from the minute she started.

" what is this shit?" gilbert gags  
"Drink it down then you get to know, bastards" a hand slaps her behind and she jumps ten feet in the air "Ladies don't cuss, Bella. How many time must I punish you before you understand that?"

"Fuck off Luciano!" the knife that lodges in the wall by her curl, it has her singing apologies. "Done, what zhe hell did I just chug? zhats the worst tasting thing ever!" lutz interrupts

"Horse jizz, potato bitches"

It takes a minute for the room to contemplate what was said... and when it hits them, Gilbert began shoving his fingers down his throat and Lutz was screaming that he's going to die or get pregnant with a horse baby 'the fucker came stoned, I swear'. That's when Luddy-kins begins to hit his head repeatedly "SILENCE YOU DUMBASSEN! It's just alcohol with a bad name"

"IT WAS SALTY, THERE'S NO WAY IT WASN'T" lutz shrieks

"How do you know that?" Lovina ask then pales, oh shit 'why'd I say that' look

"The same way you do, praying before my man" he grins, pointing at Luciano. Who takes the liberty of smacking his plaything around, for making his face turn bright red. Flavi decided to end the pore things suffering "It's just Budweiser, Smirnoff, salt, and milk. Seriously you two are big babies"

"Kiku, truth or drink!" lutz yells

"Truth, Sigfred-san" the blushing man, takes off his coat a whine of 'no fun' comes from Gilbert " Is it true you have a shit ton of itacest and gerita yaoi's hidden in your house?" his reding answers that question

"WHAT THE FUCK!? I'll kill'em!" raved Luciano and Lovina

"JAPAN!?" Ludwig turned an interesting shade

"Got any in color?" Lutz asked having a pervy blush, Feli simply smiled as if he already knew.

"Hai and I make them when I drink too much, best not to get drunk so no repeats" he hides from Kuro; knowing he'll be molested 'he's worse than 1p Korea and that dudes bad' sigh " truth or drink, Veneziano-sans?"

"Drink" the both say at once

"FELICIANO!?"

said nation runs and hides behind his sister "Ve! Doitsu's scaring me! Save me Sorella!" she smiles as he hugs her" who said you could hug me, bastard" ve! was her answer

" For Luciano- san extra-sweet blue lagoon and for Feliciano-Kun warhead infused vodka," he smirks at the calls of I hate sweet/sour things. "Well I am very sorry, but no switching" and they drink, their drinks with twisted faces and ask for water when it's all over "Francious, drink or truth?"

"Drink, fools I am far too sober for this" he grumbles about Oliver 'stealing his wine, the little shit' Oliver does something he's going to regret "No swearing, fudge!" and he downs another car bomb and throws up. " Haw, ya fuckin ass. Oh, fuck me!"

"Pick your poison, Arthur. Is it a body shot per-word or for sentence, Ivan?" he holds up three fingers for three cuss words. Arthur motions to the bottle of Honey moonshine as Francis lets out his pervy laugh and Portugal from their world or Joao... right? growls

The first shot Arthur grimaces, the second he gags, and the third does quickly and runs to the bathroom to wash out his mouth, then runs back in and tongues Joao; taking a seat on his lap. "Bleeping frog tastes like snail slime, Fonzi" he pouts

"And how would you know, don eyebrows?" Antonio blinks, playing with the velvet on his booth "Your ex-wife is an... Joao say slurs for me" he points at the still smiling blond "Garoto Foda degenerado, keep it away from my husband babaca"

'What did he call him Sorella?' the blond Venice asks in a hearable whisper 'a Degenerate fuck boy so stay away, Feli' she replies in the same tone, 've!? ok'. The forgotten french clears his throat "Oh right" they say before Lucy can say anything Feli cheers out "Mac and cheese jello shots!"

"What the hell!? you dumbass those don't exist!" his double slaps him upside the head as most of us grimace "Actually they do, but I don't have enough time to make them Feli. So pick another, please" Flavina coos at his depressed, ve! "Four Horsemen meet a Sailor in the Gulf of Mexico in a quarter pint glass, then "

"That I've got... Wait how do you know what that is?" the room blinks

"I have an alcoholic sister and drink my sadness away, how wouldn't I know?" he deadpans back, both Veneziano "Ve! 142 ml total of Bourbon whiskey/ Jim Beam, Tennessee whiskey/Jack Daniel's, Scotch whisky/Johnnie Walker Black, 2 parts Tequila/Jose Cuervo and Spiced Rum/Sailor Jerry" one giggles other scowls

the smoke-stained french men downs the liquid and smirks "I've found my new drink" he exclaims sounding happy, 'creepy'. "The Spanish and Portuguese, drink or truth?"

Drink, they say and Francois smirks "Bloody Aztec's for all, for the Spain's El Toro Loco and for the Portugal's Matador" the comment does not go over Joao or Santiago heads, but their brothers sadly ain't too smart. "Is it safe to give Toni Redbull ?"

"Probably not" one romano says to the other

The drinks are downed and the game goes on; The Denmarks, Berwald, Tino, Lukas all drink there drinks or remove their clothing. When the door bursts open revealing Xiao and two others "how come we weren't invited?" the Chinese man latches on to his twin, letting out another whine

"I did dude, you said no!" Porkchop pouts

"Actually, Lǎoshī was the one you were speaking to; he came only in fact due to Leon joining in" The Asian I don't know, spoke calm and even 'he looks like a douche' blinking at the confused looks "Aho, I forgot to introduce myself,1p Macau - Elias da Silva or Zhou Xiang Siu if you prefer"

"For the 1p's in the room, I am 2p hong kong, Lao Kirkland or Li Shi Lao " he bowed before scolding his pain in the ass dad, aka 4-20 buddy to all.

Norway, um Lukas then dares all five 1p British Isles; they choose drink."Ok, all of the 2p's will say a statement, if you've done it take a drink and if not pour it into the cup in the mild. The one who has done the least amount of things chugs the cup" he says monotone-lessly

'Loki is so cheery and this guy is dreary, heh that rhymed'

"OH! good one Norge!... Ach, air"

Lukas pulls tighter on... Mathias's? collar "Stupid Dane"

I go first "Got kicked out of a bar for fighting" they all drink. Mat asks next "got my ass kick in hockey" only their Scotland drinks. oliver giggles "slept with France" both Arthur and Alister drink

"I knew it!" Oli screams

"Doesn't mean I like him, you cotton candy monster"

Lucy goes next "got stabbed in a back alley" the Irelands and Arthur chug. "did it in a back alley" Lutz yells, all of them dump it out. "Stabbed someone in a back alley," Kuro asks, the same three from 'lucy' drink

"Where ya'll stabbing each other?" I can't help but ask, the Irelands say yes.

"questioned your place in life" Francois yawns, the girl is the only one that dumps hers out. Xiao screams out "Smoked opium" only Arthur drinks and then gets hit on the head. klaus signs 'tried to hurt yourself' Arthur drinks and the others gawk

"iggy?" porkchop whispers

"Next person please" he never looks up

Santiago cackles "were a pirate" surprisingly both Arthur and William? wales, drink. "slept with Spain" Jaime's question startles a few, till a whisper from Flavina makes its way around the room 'he's sorta like your Belarus, but more whiny and not as scary'

"The fuck is wrong with you, asshole? why would you want to be with your brother? " Joao squeaks, glaring at our worlds Portugal "The Iberian union was the best, big brother took care of me " he grins pervy-ly winking at his glaring skunk of a brother who then tougues his... I'm not sure what they are but they're together romano.

It's England who drinks his drink and it's Ireland... I think his name is Seamus, who alerts us to the fact "why the hell are you admitting to that?!"

"Why the hell are you screaming it out?! Now Oliver's going to bother me!" he blushes bright red and from my side at least, it takes us some time to register that 'A lot of yucks went around' before Flavi speaks up " Had a three-way" she gets double the smacks; one from her brother and the other from her jefe Santiago.

Arthur is the only one to drink again. Magnus crocks out "fought a Viking" only the girl dumps hers. "dealt with my 1p's fires" Lao gowns, they all drink. "lost money to my 1p" my worlds Macau giggles, they again all drink. At the end of this game, the one to finish the cup is Wales

Who starts giggling like crazy before saying "Leon next, drink or truth?"

"like, Truth," he says monotone-lessly

"Is it true your dating the angsty one, over there" he points at a puffin, that's cursing out someone under the table 'ah icy turned in ta a poofin' the drunk screams before passing out. "hai, I am"

"truth or drink all the Asians in the room, expect my 2p" he yells quickly, evading a javelin to the head and a lecture from his family.

'we'll talk about this later ice' can be heard

three shouts of drink, come from the nations in my world and two calls of truth from the nations of there's." for the truths, why do you still treat us like we're incapable of making our own decisions, Zhǔ? and for Elias, why are you ok with Zhǔ's smothering?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT!, you still follow there immature western way's and until you grow up I won't let you screw our people over! Xiao Chun!" Yao screams, glaring at Arthur and Joao the inter time  
"I have never said I'm ok with it, I apologize if that was the way it came off Leon. Lǎoshī's actions are well-meaning but are very wrong, Sinto Falta da Companhia do meu Pai com bastante frequência. Papa poderíamos ter Uma reunião de família em breve? "

"Sim"

I think that loosely means 'I miss my father's company quite often. Papa, could we have a family reunion soon?' those words piss off Yao even more "Quite talking that barbaric languages! Xiang Siu!"

Leon just sighs "like drink, snake wine mixed with snake venom beer" they blink and Flavi coughs

"I don't have any of that... Oh! you brought some with you, ok then. Chug boys!" they all pass out afterward. Yao then asks the question to Lao, who chooses truth "How is it that you deal with them?" he surges and sighs

"Now that, that is over I need to point out that Arthur said hell earlier and needs another shot" Ivan giggles

"I never!"

"Actually ya did Artie, now drink up" Scotland chuckles, he chooses some snake venom. He takes the shot and bursts into tears "Scotty! Joao! I can't remember if I'm Catholic or Protestant, help!"

"the fuck just happened?" mat and I say at the same time

"Arthur gets confused when he's drunk and for some reason, still thinks the Tudors are in power, fighting," the quiet Canadian sighs and then his bear asks who he is?

"Since there are only five people who haven't been dared, not including our Romano. All of you drink or truth" 2p hong kong sighs again they all choose drink. "Wait five I only see four... oh right the other Canada turns invisible" lutz grunts after being reminded by said nations boyfriend, aka Gilbert

and Arthur decides to put on, a not so nice song called 'fuck you I'm drunk' and sadly or not, sings along causing Oliver to yell every five minutes about language. They both pass out by its end

The game continues until half the room is either unconscious or disappeared to go fuck. The only ones left are me and Northern Ireland, who surprisingly is still very sober. "How come you ain't wasted? "

"Strongest tolerance out of my family. Mind helping prank the lot"

how could I say no

**Author's Note:**

> The italy's; veneziano- 2p Luciano, 1p Felicano, Romano-1p Lovina, 2p Flavina  
> Germany- 2p Sigfred 'Lutz', 1p Ludwig  
> Prussia- 2p Klaus, 1p Gilbert  
> Japan- 1p Kiku, 2p Kuro  
> France- 1p Francis, 2p Francois  
> North american brothers; America- 1p Alfred, 2p Allen, Canada- 1p Mathew, 2p Mathieu 'James'  
> The british isles; england- 1p Arthur 2p Oliver, Ireland-Seamus, Scotland-Alister, Wales-William, Northern Ireland-Saline'mor,  
> China- 1p Yao, 2p Xiao  
> Russia- Ivan  
> Iberian brothers; spain- 1p Antonio, 2p Santiago, Portugal- 1p Joao, 2p Jaime A.da silva  
> Nordics; Norway- Lukas, Denmarks- 1p Mathias, 2p Magnus, Sweden- Berwald, Finland-Tino, Iceland-Emil,  
> Hong kong- 1p Leon 'Xiao Chun ', 2p Lao kirkland 'Li Shi Lao 
> 
> Macau- 2p Helder da silva 'Zhou Hung Sui', 1p Elias da Silva 'Zhou Xiang Siu' 
> 
> Zhǔ- means master; hong kong feels like china is his owner rather than, his brother. Lǎoshī- means teacher; macua calls china this to oppose him, he feels similar to leon, when yao trys to keep them from there father figures. There 2ps are the opposites they see there china as a father


End file.
